You must not hurt your wife’s feelings all in the name of correcting, there are several approaches to doing it that will yield the best result. Use the following steps and correct without hurting her.
Most men hurt their wives in the name of correcting them. They speak harshly, they are so rash in their approach and can be very brutal.
Let me quote Stephanie Ben, “brutality in a relationship is an acid, it kills a relationship slowly to the grave of no return”. I am not married but I agree with her because I have seen countless relationships that ended as a result of that.
There a lots of women who are living their lives in bitterness and anger due to the careless ways their husbands have been talking to them overtime.
Here you will be able to know the right ways to talk to your wife without hurting her:
1) LOWER YOUR VOICE: Don’t shout at her, she is not your housemaid, she is not a child. You can correct, yes, but why shouting?
2) DO IT IN LOVE: Correcting should be done in love. If done in any other way, it turns to criticism and condemnation.
3) DON’T CRITICIZE: Stop criticizing her, rather correct in love. Most people will say it’s constructive criticism, true? It means disapproval by pointing out errors and mistakes.
Correction is the act of offering better options to mistakes.
Correction and criticism are never the same.
Husband A says: what manner of food is this? Is this popcorn or fried rice? How I wish I marry a more sensible wife, with better home training, who can cook better.
Husband B says: Sweetheart this rice is too salty and dry unlike the one you cooked yesterday. I think salt should be reduced any other time because of our health.
Husband A criticized, Husband B, corrected his wife in love. Stop criticizing your wife.
4) PRAISE HER FOR WHAT IS RIGHT: It will be wrong to correct when it’s not well done when you don’t praise when it’s well done. Form the habit of praising and appreciating your wife for good deeds.
5) DON’T DO IT BEFORE YOUR CHILDREN: Avoid correcting your wife in the presence of your Children. Incessant correction of your wife before your Children will make them disrespect her.
6) DON’T CORRECT HER IN THE PUBLIC: Avoid correcting your wife in the public, it does not show you as a gentleman, and will affect her self-esteem.
7) AVOID CORRECTION IN ANGER: Stop correcting your wife in anger, shouting, ranting, beating and making trouble. Real men don’t do that.
8) DON’T COMPARE HER WITH ANY OTHER WOMAN: In your thought of correcting her, you might have been comparing her with other women. “Don’t you see what your friend is doing?”
“Can’t you learn from our neighbors wife?”
“I think you should borrow a leaf from deaconess so and so”
This is very wrong, no woman love to be compared with others, stop it.
9) AVOID REFERRING TO OLD ISSUES: Avoid referring to issues discussed and settled, stick to the present issue, discuss like adults and move on.
10) DON’T ATTACK HER WOMANHOOD: And you call yourself a woman? Virtuous women don’t behave like this, you better change before I change you. This is very wrong, don’t do it.
11) DON’T ATTACK HER DIGNITY: You don’t behave like someone with sense, do you think at all? And you said you went to school, I doubt it. This is very wrong, you too, you are not talking like somebody that pass through a college.
12) DO IT IN TIME OF PEACE: Most husbands want to correct in the heat of anger, at the height of misunderstanding, when temper has already hit the roof. That is not the best time to correct, it will yield little or no result.
13) GIVE A HELPING HAND: The best way to correct is to lead by example, step into the kitchen to give a helping hand, don’t just sit in the front of the Television correcting what goes on in the kitchen. Wives are doing a great job, appreciate yours and support her to be a better wife and mother.