I’ve made some really amazing judgment calls when it comes to choosing friendships and I’ve made a few wrong ones.
I once had an open-ended confidante. By open-ended I mean that everything I told her was like pouring water through a basket. A typical example of one inlet, different outlets. Suddenly people I had no private connectuons with whatsoever had a good knowledge of happenings in my life. Took me a while to figure out, but when I did, it was like a eureka moment for me. And from then on, I put my eyes in my mouth while speaking with her just about everything. Not long after, she felt sidelined and became bitter. Some days will go by without her responding to my greetings and calls. Other times she’ll straight refuse to return my smiles. I wasn’t perturbed. I knew why. Information supply had been cut off considerably and she wasn’t pleased, yet, she lacked the effontery to confront me. She must have told herself she was entitled to my personal life.
Here’s the lesson here. Do not feel entitled to details of someone’s private life. If they tell you, fine. If they don’t, fine too. Be intelligent enough to know when someone doesn’t want to divulge information and don’t pry. But just in case you’re privileged to hear, let people’s secrets be safe with you. If they wanted the whole world to hear, they would announce it themselves. Be reliable. Let information leaks not come from you.
And oh, one last thing, respect the secrets of friends turned enemies. It’s called informagrity (don’t worry, you won’t find that one in the dictionary. It’s a combination of information and integrity).