Woke up feeling this lower ache in my abdomen. I quickly reached out for my phone by my bedside and called my cousin who’s a renowned pharmacist. Babe, my belle dey pain me o, and it’s bad. I can’t even stand straight. In fact, I’m calling in sick at work. Haba! e reach like that? I’ll come by and examine you before I get to my office. Be well you hear? And she dropped the call.
Val showed up 2hours later just as she had promised. Let me examine you, she cooed. Ha! Simi you have to come with me to the clinic o, she exclaimed! They have to perform abdominal and pelvic scan to determine exactly what has been causing this your recurring stomach ache. Simi became pensive. She hated hospitals and had no idea what her cousin Val meant by abdominal and pelvic scan. She hated all these medical jargons. Val laughed so hard at her cousin. Relax jor, it’s nothing to be scared of. Just shower and get dressed, I’ll take you. I promise no one will give you injection, atleast till we know what the problem is. And with that, we left for the hospital.
On arrival, we met the lab attendant and told her we wanted to do pelvic and abdominal scan. First question she asked me was if I was pressed. Hian! Pressed ke! I had only just emptied my bladder before getting here. Wahala dey o! Madam, abeg start drinking water o. You have to be pressed before you can do this scan. And with her message passed, she returned to whatever it is that got here engrossed in her PC.
Hmmm! Need I complete the story? Just like you can already guess, I spent another 2hours pacing the office space trying to find means of feeling pressed. I drank 15cups of water! Fifteen! Plus an extra satchet of pure water! I paced. My stomach felt bloated and yet, there was no sign of urine. I even tried to dance, the jagajaga kind you do when you’re pressed, still, nothing. The human anatomy is a really intriguing thing if you ask me. If the conditions are right, with no pressure whatsoever, I’ll need to visit the loo twice or thrice with that amount of water. In fact, when on a journey, I barely even finish one satchet all day just to keep me away from being a bother to the driver. But here I was, 15cups of water later, trying to find urine in my bladder.