A few years ago, I decided to throw a small party for my 22nd birthday, which happened to fall on the same day as my monthly clearance. I was a corper at the time, and as you would expect, the party was lit. There was food and drinks and good music and dance and a big cake (my roommate at the time was nice enough to bake me a really big one).
By the end of the party, I was giddy and exhausted and drunk and everything else that comes with partying, but I decided to call my boyfriend before going to bed. I told him I wanted to get married before my 24th birthday. He was dead silent at my open declaration. Nigga wasn’t even prepared. I still chuckle when I remember that night. I felt like I had my life all figured out. I could see the blueprints. I couldn’t think of any reason to not be married in two years. I had serious entitlement issues and totally ignored the possibility of “life” happening. In my head, dreams equalled reality. I was young, and up until then, everything I wanted came to me.
But boy, was I wrong? Reality was beginning to hit hard. A year and 6months after I had blurted out my wishes, I was still hoping for a miracle job. I had sent job applications to all known corporations and called every big uncle I had.
I’d always wanted to land a good job before settling down. And guess what? I was still running in and out of laboratories at 24 (my perfect marriage age) in search of a job. In fact, I was sitting in front of a job interview panel on my 24th birthday sef. And I can tell you, the interviewers’ faces weren’t even smiling in acknowledgement of my special day. Heck! I didn’t even land the job.
Only God knows what might have happened had I been married at the time with my entitlement mentality. Perhaps I might have adjusted by now or filed for a divorce, who knows!
Alot has changed since life happened to me. My mentality has changed. And even my taste too.
Yes, I am unmarried but I am happy with where I am now. I have had to learn, unlearn and relearn alot of things over the years. And when I feel like things are not going as planned, I encourage myself to look back at the evolution. And trust me, there is not a time I do so without taking a reassuring deep breath.
It only gets better!