Tales By Ben: Women Will Embarrass You

On today’s episode of women will embarrass you:
There are three characters

Guy A
Guy B
Guy C

Don’t guess, I am guy B.

There was this girl back then in the days of 2go and facebook gateway. We used to chat deep into the night. But the problem was, I didn’t know there was Guy A and Guy C in the equation.

Girl would call me late at night that she couldn’t sleep and I’ll run online to keep her company (hopeless romantic me) not knowing she’s placed the same call to Guys A and C. I didn’t know I was sharing this air of importance with two other friends of mine.

So one night, guy A saw me online at night, messaged me n asked: Ikpa, why are you online? And I replied, I’m chatting with Bae.

The 3 of us continued in the relationship with her without knowing. Girl told guy A she’s in pharmacy, told me she was in psychology, and guy C, well, I can’t remember.

I was the hopeless romantic in the whole thing. I was the one composing early morning text messages. And guess what? She was sending my hard-earned texts to Guys A and C. All she had to do was edit the name and sign off.

Interestingly, one day, we all happened to be in one Location (Coke stand, uniuyo) and Guy A asked for my phone. Then he let out a real subtle scream. Ikpa, how do you know this girl, he asked? While I was still trying to answer his question, guy C peeped at the picture and declared, na my babe be that na, y’all steer clear.


I was confused to say the least. We are all involved with one girl? Hey God! Look at me, girl that I had planned my future with already? We even agreed on the number of kids we wanted. 3 to be precise, 2 boys and 1 girl 😢..

As guys, there wasn’t so much drama after we had overcome the first shock. We were teammates now and we had to strategize. We narrated all our adventures individually with the girl. Well, to be sincere, I was the least pleased. We soon brought our “revelationary” meeting to a close and dismissed.
But I never looked at her the same way again. The day she professed her undying love to me over the phone shortly after doing same to guys A and C (I know this because, we, the guys, were all in one place when she called) was the day I concluded that the devil is a woman. In fact, she even denied knowing guys A and C when I asked once. She cried and swore and threw tantrums.

You see that Gender that ate that apple, held conversations with a snake, wanted the head of John on a platter, got Sampson killed and Joseph thrown into jail? Fear them! That Gender will hembarrass you… I say Again, fear that Gender.

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